Maggie Copus on YellowBot
8 years ago
01/02/2014, 09:03 AM
Nate Rude and Unprofessional
I personally was not treated with the compassion, sympathy, dignity or respect I felt I deserved as the Mother of a child who died by suicide, at this funeral home, by the employee. The employee I dealt with solely was Nate. He was indifferent, rude, careless and flat out unkind to me and my siblings. The father and I are divorced we didn’t get along at all. But he made the initial cremation and obituary arrangements and paid his 1/2 portion. When it came to me, I was treated by Nate as an inconvenience. I was a bother to have to deal with or take time for. I was being denied every last right I had to pay my respects to my son by his father. The coroner’s office were called and after learning what was happening, they mandated a legal document be signed b/f my son would be released to the funeral home to ensure I was to have my last and final rights. Our situation was unique obviously for me to need to sign a legal document, which enforced my maternal rights. Nate’s job was to ensure I signed it as requested by the Coroner’s office and take my half of the bill. Agreement stated that I was mandated to pay my half of the costs, before I could have my name added in the obituary or be allowed to attend the celebration of life or even have the right to say goodbye to my son at the Morgue. When I came in he was all about getting the money. Three of us were standing there with credit cards in hand and willing to pay our share. We had many questions and ground to cover b/c I had never had a child die before, but he stayed focused on the money. I felt as if he knew and used the skill of distraction to avoid uncomfortable situations with divorced families. I felt that by him focusing solely on the money instead of the issue at hand was better or more important than being neutral and professional to all parties involved. Agreement stated I was to have half of the ashes, if I paid my half. I declined that privilege and instead asked for the metal pins which were in my son's arm due to a recent break. As I am asking and requesting what I needed from him ie the pins, he tries to ignore me, then he kept trying to distract me as I am reading the legal document. Then I kept pressing him on an answer, so he wrote on the legal document, "Maggie is requesting the pins, note to self, I will talk with other paying party." Then looks up at me and says I can't promise anything. Then he proceeds to try to talk me out of it by stating, "It will be damaged burned and blackened." Then after a month he did put the pins in the mail with no way to track it, no consideration to the security of it making it to my mailbox. No concern for the sacredness of this item was to me. My request was not taken seriously nor did he care how important it truly was to me. He just threw in w/ the regular mail with no extra care in wrapping it or insuring it.
I was just floored by this behavior. I requested the death certificate, I was told the first copy is full price and every after is lower. Well the ex paid for the first one. I asked for one and Nate informed me I was a different paying party so I would need to pay the full price for the first one. I was told to wait 12 wks. I couldn’t pay then and there for the death certificate I was asked to wait. I ordered the bookmarks at the same time. He quoted me the prices over the phone for each item, he didn't want to use my debit card over the phone b/c it charges him a fee to use the credit card machine. It would have been nice to have the price or fee for that included with the quoted price for such things, I wouldn’t have felt he was nickel and diming me to pieces had he did it that way. There were issues b/c we were divorced yes I agree. But this man needed to be a neutral professional and respect both parents, their needs and their rights. If not for us at least for the respect my son deserved for being cremated there. I cannot believe that this was the first or the last divorced couple's child who died which were on bad terms. I am sure he was trained in college on how to deal with such situations. I expected to be dealing with a professional who would be trained and have experience being a sympathetic funeral director. In Loving Memory of my only Child Josh M Copus. Sincerely Maggie Copus